Week 8: A Confident Heart Bible Study - Then/Now

Wow!  Can't believe it has been 8 weeks since  I started this journey.  I knew it was going to be a journey and study that I really and truly needed.

Looking back over the past 8 weeks, I KNOW God has been working.  Here's a recap of several events that occurred during our study.

Surrendering My Heart

I was vulnerable and told the story of how God told me to pray for the man in front of me at church despite my not wanting to get involved at all.  This act of obedience led to the June 30 "revival".  Before this study I would not have shared this for fear of looking like a delusional idiot. 

Now I am confident that there is a purpose behind me telling that story.  I did not make it up.  It really did happen that way and I'm willing to risk look like an idiot for God's glory because it isn't about me.  I'm just THAT confident in God using it for good.

Making Bold Statements in Prayer and Standing on them

For several weeks during the study, my daily Bible reading was all about praying and not doubting.  In the passages I was studying, Jesus kept getting on people for not having any faith and doubting.  I guess between that and our Bible study I got the message so I  decided to lay it all out on the table.

I was going to do what Jesus said:  I was going to pray in His name and not doubt or offer a way out like I usually did.  I was going to go BOLDLY to the throne of grace, lay all my cards on the table and risk it. I was going to make this bold statement in prayer and then not back down.

If that wasn't enough,  THEN I had the NERVE to ask God for confirmation for that bold statement in prayer.....When that confirmation actually happened I nearly fell out.  LOL!  

I would have NEVER had the nerve to do this before the study.

Checking my attitude on Complaining/Being Thankful

One of the ways my confidence goes downhill is when I start focusing on all that I don't have and all of the areas where I am lacking.  Instead of doing that now, I will do it for about 10 minutes and give thanks to God because it could always be worse.

Facing the future with hope instead of expecting disappointment

As we near the end of 2013, I'm in a situation I didn't think I would be in at the beginning of this year.  In many ways I feel like I'm  back at square one, but I'm not.  Earlier this year I thought I may have to walk off of a cliff in the professional area of my life, but I was too scared and went with what was more comfortable.

I'm faced with the decision to walk off the cliff again.  I'm still scared, but this time I have the confidence that when I walk off God will catch me.

This and ESPECIALLY THAT:  It's all in His Hands

If you haven't gotten the message already, I am tired of being single.   Now this was an area where I had negative faith.  I had "faith" that I was going to be disappointed.  Instead of just being disappointed about being single and nothing happening to change that, I went above and beyond.  I came up with scenarios and reasons why I was going to be disappointed and why I shouldn't even bother to get my hopes up.

I am THRILLED to report that has even changed.  Rather than coming up with the scenarios that will have me running to listen to Amy Winehouse and Adele, I've started being thankful for this time of preparation so that I can marry within God's will.

The consequences of marrying outside of God's will are far too great and devastating to take it lightly.  During this season of preparation, I began to understand that marriage isn't to cure loneliness. God has called me to marriage  for a greater purpose, so there's a lot more preparation that has to take place.  

I started to understand that the marriage  God has for me is not what I've been fantasizing about.  With that said, it's time for me to grow up and stop preying on men because I like the way they look when they are working out.  (I'm just saying)

Thank You Renee Swope

God, I thank You for Renee Swope and her awesome book.  It is an incredible resource and I thank you for her incredible vulnerability.  It was so helpful to read my exact thoughts on the page.  I thank You that she was able to be honest about her shortfalls and allowed us to see You working through her.  Yes, your power is revealed in our weaknesses and I thank you for using Renee to encourage and teach us.

Moving Forward with a confident Heart

I'm not "cured".  Not by a long shot, BUT I am better than I was at the beginning of the study and I am 200% better than I was this time last year.  (A family member even confirmed the 200% figure and has said it is more like 500%).

I am excited to move forward not in my own confidence, but in the confidence of He who can do exceedingly and abundantly more than I can ask or think.

To God be the Glory,

Amen