I no longer believe in soulmates
I'm a romantic. I'm a fairly dramatic person. I love the idea of being crazy in love and singing Celine Dion songs throughout the day.
Yet at the age of
So after all of this time I would think "I'm gonna meet my soulmate and we'll be on the wings of love, only the two of us together we'll be flying high"
My most recent A-ha moment: This is a misguided, dangerous, and unfair idea about a life partner
A soulmate implies something is missing from your soul
A soul mate implies that my soul was lacking the other person and until that person shows up I won't be whole. That is unfair to the other person and that's way too much pressure to put on someone. Before this person shows up we need to be whole in our own being.
In my Christian belief system that means I am made whole through my relationship with Christ and guidance of the Holy Spirit.
The Lord wants to be my soul mate. Years ago I went to a singles workshop and the gentleman said "If you're looking for a soulmate, you're in trouble because that is WAY too much pressure to put on another human being. The Holy Spirit needs to be your soulmate." I did not understand what he meant back then, but now I do.
My goal is to be whole so that when homeboy shows up I can bless his life in the way God intended, not suck all of the life out of him because I'm relying on him to make me a whole person.
A relationship will not give you hope or fill emptiness
Now as my single friends will attest we do get tired of being single, but if you're looking for hope and fulfillment in a relationship you're going to be disappointed.
Lately in my Bible Studies I have realized that the Lord wants us to put our hope in him and nothing else. That means our hope should not be in careers, money, marriage, or kids.
Careers, money, marriage, and kids will have obstacles and disappointments. What happens then? Do we give up and quit since it did not turn out as we hoped?
The important thing is to be rooted in a firm foundation so that when the rains come in life we are not swept away. Our hope must be in the Lord alone because that is where we will find the strength to go on.
Isaiah 40:31 (NIV)
But those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Relying on another human being to fill your voids is selfish and useless. That's too much pressure to put on someone. Besides that, they will never be able to fill all of your voids. You will be constantly looking for them to be someone they are not.
Besides, if you're so busy looking for them to fill your emptiness when will you have time to love THEM? You'll always be talking about YOUR needs and never listen to what they need.
Love is a decision/choice
I think with the mystique of soulmates we get all caught up in Hollywood movie romance. You know what I'm talking about. We want it to be like in the movies. I know if you're like me that will wear off quick because once this person gets on my nerves or I'm annoyed, all of that romantic stuff will go out of the window.
Love is a choice that I will have to make every day. I will make the choice to show my love through my actions even when I'm annoyed, irritated, or don't like the way you're breathing today.
I told God that I wanted to be a blessing and help someone. That will require more "I get lost in your green eyes and now I'm going to fall on the ground". It's going to require me to stay with things, not give up, and to keep on keeping on.
So no, I don't believe in soulmates anymore, but I do believe in love and I believe it is on its way. I know I'm closer than I've ever been. All of these a-ha moments are confirmation.
So to my other folks who are ready to get off the single train, let's stay strong: Love will win!
Galatians 6:9
So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up
Comments
Post a Comment